Yay! Happy birthday to me! :D
Today I am 17 years old!
Let's be happy today!
Goodbye!
By the way, I am Dutch, I just know Greek. So I am not from Greece :)
Sunday 9 June 2013
Saturday 8 June 2013
OCD Recovery
Gosh, I cannot stand it any longer. I can't handle this any more. The OCD... really, it's getting out of hand. It started with some little annoying things, but it became worse and worse over time. I am not even able to write this blog without having problems with it. Approximately, I am being affected by these instructive thoughts for over three hours a day, if not more. Going to sleep is a hell, getting out of bed isn't that big of a deal yet, but I don't know how long it will take for the OCD to make a problem out of that too. I have to be aware of what I'm saying, doing and even thinking all day long and it's making me go crazy! I really need to stop this now! And I know what I am going to try!
Some people say it's good to talk about your problems, right? Well, I am going to do that. On my blog. Only on my blog. Why only on my blog, you might want to ask? I can explain that. First of all, I am not going to tell my parents. And why not? Because I do not want to. I do not want to know my parents about this ridiculous I am going through. My situation is a bit weird and I do not feel like explaining it, but believe me, it would be hard to tell it in this situation. I once told my parents something that happened, and really didn't think it helped me. It only made things awkward and I really do not want that to happen again. I suffered from another disorder a while ago, and I also managed to overcome that without telling my parents. And yes, that problem was rather serious, so don't tell me it wasn't real, because it was real. If I was strong enough to get over that disorder, then why wouldn't I be able to solve this problem on my own too? Right.
I also cannot discuss this with my friends, because people somehow don't seem to take me seriously, because I do not want to tell my parents and get professional help for it. Well, I made it pretty clear now why that is, and still they think I am exaggerating this, even though I am clearly not. And it also isn't really helping that a lot people use OCD as something cool. Example: Look! I made my room nice and neat! Oh my God, I am so OCD! Shall I tell you something funny? Having OCD is not funny and it is not to be joked about, unless you have the permission to do so.
I will go to the library soon and get the book Getting Control from Lee Baer and I hope it will help me. It might help, it might not. If it doesn't help, I know something else I can try. I will be going to a new school next year, if I did a good job and pass my exams. Then I will be doing the study Social Work, where it is important to know yourself, so we will be getting a subject where we will kind of have our own therapies or something, so maybe that will be able to help me get rid of this OCD too.
What I actually wanted to tell with this blog is that I will be posting more OCD related posts on this blog and I hope it will help me!
Some people say it's good to talk about your problems, right? Well, I am going to do that. On my blog. Only on my blog. Why only on my blog, you might want to ask? I can explain that. First of all, I am not going to tell my parents. And why not? Because I do not want to. I do not want to know my parents about this ridiculous I am going through. My situation is a bit weird and I do not feel like explaining it, but believe me, it would be hard to tell it in this situation. I once told my parents something that happened, and really didn't think it helped me. It only made things awkward and I really do not want that to happen again. I suffered from another disorder a while ago, and I also managed to overcome that without telling my parents. And yes, that problem was rather serious, so don't tell me it wasn't real, because it was real. If I was strong enough to get over that disorder, then why wouldn't I be able to solve this problem on my own too? Right.
I also cannot discuss this with my friends, because people somehow don't seem to take me seriously, because I do not want to tell my parents and get professional help for it. Well, I made it pretty clear now why that is, and still they think I am exaggerating this, even though I am clearly not. And it also isn't really helping that a lot people use OCD as something cool. Example: Look! I made my room nice and neat! Oh my God, I am so OCD! Shall I tell you something funny? Having OCD is not funny and it is not to be joked about, unless you have the permission to do so.
I will go to the library soon and get the book Getting Control from Lee Baer and I hope it will help me. It might help, it might not. If it doesn't help, I know something else I can try. I will be going to a new school next year, if I did a good job and pass my exams. Then I will be doing the study Social Work, where it is important to know yourself, so we will be getting a subject where we will kind of have our own therapies or something, so maybe that will be able to help me get rid of this OCD too.
What I actually wanted to tell with this blog is that I will be posting more OCD related posts on this blog and I hope it will help me!
Tuesday 4 June 2013
A look inside my mind
Good morning world! This is going to be a nice day! Let’s get out of bed!
Touch that door four times
Walk out of your room
Walk back in
And out
Walk downstairs
Touch wood
Touch wood
Touch wood
Hmm, I'm hungry, I should go eat something.
Let’s make this a bit more complicated than it should be.
Okay, act normal. Please!
One, two, three, four
One, two, three, four
One, two, three, four
One, two, three, four
Okay, nope. I need to stop this?!
No, do it or your mum dies. And your grannies, your father, your sister and friends. They get sick, or a car hits them… Whatever you want. It’s your choice.
I do not want that. I love them! Let’s continue this then…
One, two, three, four
Knock, knock
Touch wood, touch wood
And repeat…
Touch that door four times
Walk out of your room
Walk back in
And out
Walk downstairs
Touch wood
Touch wood
Touch wood
Hmm, I'm hungry, I should go eat something.
Let’s make this a bit more complicated than it should be.
Okay, act normal. Please!
One, two, three, four
One, two, three, four
One, two, three, four
One, two, three, four
Okay, nope. I need to stop this?!
No, do it or your mum dies. And your grannies, your father, your sister and friends. They get sick, or a car hits them… Whatever you want. It’s your choice.
I do not want that. I love them! Let’s continue this then…
One, two, three, four
Knock, knock
Touch wood, touch wood
And repeat…
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