Update from Italy and some news!

Hi there!

I thought it was the right time to write a blogpost, because I haven't done so in a few days. Italy has been great! Especially yesterday,because we went to Venice. We stepped into our car and thought to drive there in an hour or so. Unfortunately, we had some delay. We got on the boat to Venice one hour later than expected, but it was alright. We didn't have to wait vet long to get in the boat. Luckily we were one of the first passengers to get on the boat, so we had a seat. I think 60 percent of the people on the boat had to stand the whole time. It was about half an hour/45 minutes, I guess.

When we got there in Venice, it wad warm, but thanks to the wind. We visited many amazing buildings and my father took many photos with his amazingly great camera. My father is going to send me all the pictures, I asked him yesterday evening.

Today was the last actual holiday in Italy for me this holiday. At first the weather wasn't that good actually. But as soon as my father and stepmother got back to the caravan the sun started to shine, sort of. I enjoyed the sun for the last time and went back to the caravan as well when my step aunt did.

Tonight we are barbecuing, and tomorrow morning my two stepbrothers and I leave and go back to the Netherlands. I heard that the weather is very sunny and warm there at the moment, so it looks like I'm not going from sunny weather into rain and coldness at once.

There is actually something I want to write about. In the days back then when I was suffering from anorexia or whatever kind of eating disorder I had, I found a website called proud2bme which is a website about eating disorders. It also had a forum that I visited and wrote on daily. This website helped me so much to deal with my problem. There were do many other girls with the same problems, and we understood each other.
I'm happy that I do not have to use this website anymore because I won the battle from my disorder and I'm very proud of myself for that.

But since I'm dealing with another kind of problem, the ocd one, I was searching on google last night and I registered for a forum and hopefully I will soon find out what I actually can so against my problem. I found some tips on a website today and it is working for me right now. But since I'm not that stressed during holiday, the urge to do certain things is not that strongly forthcoming. I'm happy that I've found something that works for me, at least at moments when 'the feeling' isn't that strong.

I'm going to enjoy the weather for now. Next post is probably from the Netherlands, back home. Then I will also post some pictures from my holiday.

Kim

Reading and writing

I love to read during holiday. So I took the books with me. One of them is English and the other two are Dutch. I wanted to read some more books, since I'm a fast reader. I read one book today and I am on twenty six percent of my English book already. After tomorrow I probably have only one book left to read, and after that I don't know what to do actually. I'm thinking about writing my own books. in the past I already attempted to write my own book, and I wrote around sixty pages and then I just speed writing. I can not remember why. I probably did not like what I had Wooten already, so why going on with something I do not enjoy?

The book was about a girl who moved house because her mother got a new boyfriend. She had to write emails and chat on msn to stay in contact with her best friend. It was a total rip off of one of my favourite Dutch books. That was also probably one of the main reasons to stop writing.

I already had my Dutch blog around that time, and I saw that I enjoyed blogging way more than writing my book. I assume that that was because I did not have to think about what to write, because I already knew what write before I started writing the post.

So that made me wonder... Why not writing a book about what I have been through in my life? I do not want to sound all whiny or pathetic, but I think I have the right to say I have been through a lot. So I wag thinking to write a (or more) book(s) about some happenings in my life. I don't exactly know how I'm going to do this, but the urge has been here for quite a while now.

Some ranting

What can I say? Yesterday started off like it was going to be a good day, but it somehow turned into probably the worst day of this holiday.

First of all, we went to the beach today, for me it was the first time. At first I did not want to take my phone with me, but when I saw that my stepmother and stepbrother took them with them as well, I thought 'why shouldn't I just take him with me?'. I immediately thought it wasn't a very good idea. I didn't want anything to happen to my phone so I kept it in my parent's bag, just in case something happened to it. (the beach itself was beautiful and the sea was warm enough to not freeze to death again (like what happened the night before sure to the airco). And there comes the only time I feel proud of myself. I attempted to go into the sea and swim. And I did! Twice even! The first time was with my little sister, she is for as far as I know the only one who knows about my fear of the sea and not makes fun of it.
The second time I went alone. That time I even went for a proper swim. I felt quite proud of myself afterwards because I had fun in the sea and for a few minutes I didn't feel like I was the worst thing that has ever happened to the world.)

But when we wanted top go back top the caravan my sister and I wanted to swim in the pool before going home as well. So that is what we did. I let my phone in the bag and asked if they wanted to be careful with it. My stepmother immediately said 'of course we do!' She sounded really annoyed while saying it and gave me this arrogant look.
I went to swim, but when I got home I saw there are two scratches on my phone. I tried to clean my crab in case it were no scratches, but they are. I was so angry at people because they just can't be careful with other people's properties. It's a pity that I don't know who did our, but when I will blame anyone, they will say I did it myself for sure.
I was always so careful for my phone, and now someone else damaged it.

That was not the only thing. I bought 100mb internet do I could blog and chat, but yesterday after I discovered the scratches I also got a text message saying I had used 80 percent of my mbs. Which is impossible since my internet didn't work for almost the entire day. So I have only 20mb left for five days. Hopefully it won't go that fast again for no reason.

You can understand that this had ruined my mood and because of that I was a bit grumpy. That is never a good thing near my stepmother. She likes to even ruin my mood more somehow. I started to feel again, like I don't belong in this family. They're happy together and I feel like the only one who appreciates my presence is my father, and my little sister maybe. But all the other ones act like they don't care.

Then I started to feel nervous and stressed because of the ocd-ish feelings I've been struggling with for quite a while now. 'Maybe had touched the table or did jumped twice instead of once my phone would not have been damaged. It is my fault, I should have clapped an even number in my hands, not any different.' I even couldn't read my book anymore, so I didn't have any entertainment.

Later in the evening I also started to feel bad for eating. I cried on the toilet. I had completely lost my mind. As soon as I possibly could, I went to bed and hoped so much on a better day.

Right now, I'm still in my bed, but I think I feel a little bit better now... kind of... Hopefully this day will be better, because it will run my vacation so much if not. I'm not taking my phone with me again, unless I have my own bag where no one else can touch it.

From the beach

Hello there!

I'm currently at the beach and the weather is great. It is pretty hot here but the wind kind of makes it enjoyable. I took my phone with me to the beach just in case I wanted to make photos or write blogposts just like I'm doing right now. I really like it here in Italy.I'm having a great time.

Yesterday was fun but tiring. We went to a pizzeria where I ate a very big pizza Margarita, obviously.I food not east such a good pizza for quite a long time. These are real pizzas and pastas from Italy, it can't be better somewhere else. After dinner we went to my aunt and her family where we sat and drank some drinks for the rest of the evening.

I could barely survive the first night, on the couch. The couch wasn't even the worse thing, that was okay, actually. But the airco is in the living- kind of -room and apparently it turned off automatically. My brother turned it on again, but the temperature was way too low. I woke up every half an hour because I was so cold. I was glad when my stepmother woke up and went to the bakery to buy us breakfast. I joined her because I could no longer handle the coldness.

I think I have now managed to collect enough braveness to try to go for a short swim. Hopefully I won't panic and drown.

My first day in Italy

I am here! In Italy. Sitting on my bed, writing a blogpost about today. this day went by very quickly. I woke up at half past 9, I guess. My mum and I checked my bag a few last times if I really had everything packed, which I had. Around a quarter to eleven, we left and drive to Schiphol airport. When we got there (and by 'we' I mean my two stepbrothers and I), we could walk to the plane almost immediately. We had already checked in at hone on the internet, so we did not gave to arrive at the airport so early. My brother a big piece of pizza in a restaurant on the airport. It was a very big piece, I think it was approximately a quarter of a pizza. As soon as my other brother came back from theBurger King part of that restaurant, which took quite a long time, and he ate his burger and his fries, we walked towards our plane and got on board. When we got onto the plane we saw a celeb from the Netherlands, which was pretty awesome.

The flight itself was rather short. In about an hour and twenty minuets or so we landed in Italy. My dad was there to pick us up and he drive back with us to the camping, Pra Delle Torri or something like that. That took us around an hour to do, but I watched a film with my burger during the ride.

The camping looks nice for how far I have seen it. It is a big camping with a fountain in the middle. There are a few restaurants, a disco, a theatre and of course there are two swimming pools. Also, the beach is close to the swimming pools well.

Tomorrow I shall visit the beach for the second time and this tone I am actually going to make use of it. I am also going to give swimming a try, even though I think swimming in the ocean is pretty scary. I'm really tired at the moment, so for now, I am going to sleep, and hopefully, I shall try to blog again!

Italy, here I come!

DuaneSo tomorrow I'm going to Italy. We're travelling there by plane and I'm kind of going there alone. Only my two step brothers and I. We travel there alone. I actually am a little bit nervous for that, but I think I will be okay. We have checked in online already, so we can walk straight into the plane, after we went true the duane, which is quite nice.
I bought 100 MB internet for there so when I will be there, I am definitely going to post pictures and write blogs.
I wanted to write a bit more, but I don't know what and I'm also rather tired. So the next post will probably be from me in Italy :D

Italy and Hairdye

Here, have a picture of me sleeping with my little sister's bear. She asked if i could sleep with it for one week because didn't want to take him (or her) with her.

My father, stepmother, stepsister and little sister are leaving for Italy in a few hours from now. They're travelling there by car. I don't know how long it takes to drive all the way to Italy, but I assume it is a pretty long ride. Therefore they won't drive to there at once, but they stay at a hostel or something in Austria for one night and then continue the ride the next day. They are supposed to arrive at around three o'clock in the afternoon.

I'm not going with them already because I am staying for only one week and my dad and everyone else, except for me and my two older stepbrothers, will stay there for two weeks. the reason I'm not staying two weeks as well is because I'm also going to Chersonissos for two weeks with my mum one week after I'll be back from Italy. I didn't want to be gone for such a long time. Four weeks on vacation and only two, maybe three, weeks at home.

We are staying in Caorle. That is a city 'near' Venice. It's about and hour to go there by car. The camping is called Pra Delle Torri. I think I am going to have so much fun, except for the fact that this year I am the one who has to sleep on the couch. And I'm really not looking forward to that. I don't want to sound all whiny and bitchy, but I want a comfortable bed please.I do not want to sleep on the couch. People are going to sit down and eat stuff on my 'bed'. How am I ever going to have good night sleeps this year? I have enough problems with my neck and back and shoulders already and I don't think that a 'bed' with such quality is going to help me with those problems. Also there is another 'problem' and that is that I have no such thing as privacy when my bedroom is also going to be the living room. Even though we are probably not going to sit in there a lot, but still...

That is about the only thing I'm not satisfied with. I will survive that.

This upcoming week I'm planning on doing many activities with my mum. Only my mum and I. I asked her if we could do that massage again we did a year or so ago. She said yes and she will us going to try and reserve two chairs for us and I hope so it is still possible for us to undergo such a good massage. Maybe it will help me with my triggerpoints. We'll see.

I'm going to stop writing now, because I'm actually rather tired and I would like to sleep.

Bye everyone!

Ps. My grandfather bought a smartphone today. He bought the Samsung galaxy ace, the same phone as my mother has. I feel so proud. He understands it a little bit already.

Pps. I am going to test new hair dye and if I like it I'm buying it, so my mother can dye it again.

Susan wants me to blog!

Susan wants me to blog, so here you have it: a blogpost kind of thing. It's probably going to take me the whole night, but you got to deal with that. This post will be a weird one, because right now Raya (one of my best friends) is at my house for a sleep over. 'sleep over'. We are not going to sleep much, obviously.

In this post I will just randomly write down my thoughts and what is happening. Right now my friend is playing the Sims 3. I made a sim that looks like her. Or at least I tried. And now she's making one like me. She actually managed to make my hair red dypdyed. Oh! She's choosing my characteristics (is that even a word?). She chose great kisser, a smooth taller, brave (she explained why she chose this and now I feel proud) and friendly.

So right now she is playing Team Fortress and it is funny to see how bad she is at it. Not that I am a good gamer, but I have fun doing it, so yeah. She's playing and I am a sort if coaching her. I keep on laughing about her reactions! "No no no no no!!! Ah, fuck! No! Aahhh! Oh god! Do not kill me! Please! I DIED!"

...

Time passed and during that I played the game. I forgot how much I love gaming from time to time. If Minecraft doesn't count as gaming, then I do not game very often anymore. I have 22 games, and I used to game way more often and way longer. Sometimes I even gamed all night long. And now I fall asleep around one o'clock and I feel like it is 4 o'clock in the morning. Hopefully that won't happen tonight. But as long as we're not laying in our beds, I'm fine.

Once again I can not not point out how excited I am to go to Italy and Crete! I JUST CAN'T WAIT! And the fact that I will be able to blog and post pictures of where I've been and what I've seen. We're going to Venice when I will be in Italy and I am really looking forward to it because just asdfghjkl.

Maybe I should stop writing, because all I am writing now only consist of nonsense. Actually I got a question. How many people actually read my blogposts? Can you leave a comment just saying something random or telling me your opinion? You can also tweet me if you would like that. I blog to express, not to impress. I like it when my blog has new visitors, but I like it that I have one follower so yeah!

We're going to game and stuff a little bit more and going to sleep late at night and tomorrow morning/noon we will watch 'Siske de rat'. It's a Dutch movie and I really like it.

I think I have wasted enough of your time already again. Have a good night!

Massages, birthday, crying and a little bit of whining

Hello there!

I thought it was a good time to write another blogpost, so that is what I am doing right now. I don't really have a topic in mind right now, but I will see what I will be writing about.

I went to my dads house yesterday, and it was really nice to be there. My dad is very good at giving massages and since I have a lot of issues with my muscles (actually more parts of my body, but oh well) he massaged my neck and shoulders and found out that I have lots of so called "trigger points", or in other words; those little bumps in my muscles. There are a sort of knots in my muscles. Most of those trigger points arise when you are very stressed, don't sit the right way or overload your muscles. But since all three of them don't really apply to me any more (I have lots of stress, I know that, but it is not as much as it used to be, so I don't think those trigger points are caused by stress) I do not know where those knots are coming from. Luckily my father massaged me very good, and when I went back to my mother's house, she wanted to massage me as well, so that was lovely. I hope my dad and my mum want to keep on massaging me, because it relieves a little bit of the pain the bumps cause.

Yesterday, I went to sleep at quite a late time for me. That was because my stepsister came home at one o'clock and she seemed like she had drunk a little bit too much. We talked about a few things, and I found it really enjoyable the whole night. We finally went to sleep at like half past three and I woke up at half past nine this morning (or was it half past ten? I don't remember. No, it must have been half past nine!). My stepsister celebrated her sixteenth birthday today. I felt like a good kid today. You know why? Because I helped my mum the whole day with taking care of all the guests. I know that it probably isn't something special to do, but I never really helped my parents on days like this. Normally I get into my room, and don't plan on going outside of it before all the guests have left. But today was different. And I liked it, actually. I would have done nothing all day long, so why not make myself useful?

But being downstairs all day also brings a disadvantage with it. I haven't been into my room for like pretty much the whole day. But my sister was actually in 'our' room. We have to share our room because there is not enough space to give everyone a room for their own. It sucks, and this is why. My stepsister invited her best friend to come over to her house and hang out with each other. So they went to our room. But I don't like it when people use and touch my stuff without asking me permission for it. That is not very strange, obviously. The last time she invited this girl, the girl asked if she could use my computer 'for just a sec'. I said it was okay, and waited until she was done. She said she had to look up something. But she didn't just do that. She logged my out from Facebook and all the other social media and logged into her accounts. She sat down on MY stair and I was... bewildered, actually. I went downstairs to get myself a drink and as soon as I got back upstairs I wanted to use my computer again. You know what she said? "No." Just no. Hello? You see that this isn't right? It is and will always be my computer and you don't have the right to take over control of it. Maybe I sound a little childish right now, but my computer is private. I have lots of stuff on it that I do not want other people to see or read. Especially not someone like her. Eventually she left, but she gave me this look that she was angry with me or something.

I actually find this rather weird. You do not just use other people's stuff like it's yours and then when they ask you to stop and leave, you just continue like it is the weirdest thing in the world you've ever heard. 


But today, this friend was here again. And I knew she would come. So I protected my computer with a password and I turned off my speakers and my monitor. Therefore she didn't use it. I think that if I would not have locked my computer with a password, that she would have used it like it was hers.
She did not do that, but she used my chair and sat on my bed (I did not clean up my bed today). I'm sorry if I sound like I'm whining or something, but you don't just do that, right?! Just sit on my stepsister's bed if you want to sit on a bed, but not on mine. She didn't ask for it. She just did. And when I asked her to get off, she did, but said something like "My butt isn't dirty or something, hahaha!". No, I know. Just don't!

Okay, I just needed to rant about this, because I could not do it on Twitter, because my stepsister is following me on Twitter and I did not want her to know.

Something nice! We were barbecuing today! I planned not to eat so much, but in the end, I ate more that I wanted. But that is not something bad. My weight was 47.7 this morning, so I do not think it was bad that I ate a little bit more than I used to do the past month. I felt a little bit guilty after diner, but I ignored that feeling and I told myself that it is no problem that I ate a bit more than I planned on doing, because I do not want to feel guilty after eating. I am not going to check my weight tomorrow, because I know it will be more than it was today, and I do not want to feel guilty.

Also, during diner, my grandma started to cry. Just out of nothing, she started to cry. I felt bad and I almost started to cry myself. One of her best friends, someone she has known since the Second World War, died, if I understand. I feel really bad for her, and I do not want to see her crying ever again.

Okay, I am sorry. I wanted to write more, I thought, but I really have to stop now. My OCD-ish feelings are making it impossible for me to write, and I am getting tired of this. So I am sorry.

I'll write more later, when I feel good again!

Positively today!

Today was a good day. Today was fun, I really enjoyed this day. I woke up pretty early; it was about a quarter to seven when the sound of the radio in the room next to me woke me up. I actually was not annoyed with the fact that I woke up this early today. I also feel like I did not waist this day.

Around half past eleven, I was already hanging out with cone of my friends. I suggested to go to a park where we could relax and swim if we want to. But since we did not know exactly if the weather was going to be okay, I suggested to gather around the McDonnalds first and then decide if we would go to the park or not.

First I went to a jewelry shop to buy a gift for my stepsister's sixteenth birthday party, with is this Saturday. I bought two pairs of earrings for her. I hope she likes them, because I don't. But earrings have never been some jewelry I like. I actually do not like ay jewelry at all. Except for my London bracelet I'm wearing all the time.

After that we went to the park. The sun did not shine at that moment, but the temperature was just fine and there blew a gentle breeze, which was lovely. Unfortunately, the weather changed after an half an hour or so and it started to rain. My friends and I then tried to make a little tent out of or four blankets we got with us. We managed to stay dry under our blankets, sort of. But later we just ran away and hid in the bushes. Where I got stung by some kind of insect, by the way, which wasn't very nice.

When we had been in the bushes for a couple of minutes, I wanted to leave because of all the flies that flew in every hole available all the time. We left and drove to the house of one of my beat friends. We 'chilled' there for a short time and then finally the aunt started to shine. I suggested to go outside to enjoy the lovely warn weather, and so we did.
My friends wanted to buy ice cream, so we went to the best ice cream shop in our town. I did not eat an ice cream, though. I am still doing this diet of mine and I can see that it is working. I will not give up on that. No ice cream for me. I will eat enough ice cream in Italy next week.

When I got home, my mum and I started our daily exercises and then I sorted out the post I have to deliver tomorrow. It was not so much this time, which means I get less money. But I still get much money for basically doing not so much or intensive work.

This night I went to a 'party' from a friend who graduated this year. It was fun and cosy and I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would before. There were a lot of girl and only one boy (at least, until my ex and his new 'friend' came in as well) and he was her brother. I still think it is a pitty that another good friend of mine didn't come. But she felt ill so I understand why she didn't show up.

That was about it, I guess. Tomorrow I am going to deliver the mail, buy some clothes for my little sister and my mum will pay and later that afternoon I am going to pack my stuff for my holiday yo Italy! But for now, sleep will be the beat thing to do.

Boredom

Since it is summer holiday, and I don't have any commitments, I really don't do anything all day long. The past week has past by really slowly, and I haven't done anything else than exercising, sleeping, watching television and sitting on the couch, staring like a zombie into nothingness. And doing all this makes no sense to me, so I have a plan. I am going to make a list with activities I can do when I'm bored and I'm going to do that right now. I am going to make the list as long as I possibly can, and if I think about something later, I will supplement this list immediately. If I can, I will also print this out and hang it next to my bed, so that every time I wake up and start to sigh because I don't know what I am going to do that day, I will see the list and make a plan for that day.

Okay, so... I'm leaving for my holiday in Italy on the 18th of July and I will return the 25th. Then I have exactly one week until I'm leaving, again, for Crete. I will stay in Chersonissos for two weeks. I can prepare some stuff for both vacations, like making lists for what I have to take with me or buy. Let's start this!

1. Make a lists for what to bring with me on both holidays
2. Buy a gift for my stepsisters' birthday
3. Play Minecraft
4. Play The Sims 3
5. Try to blog at least once a day
6. Re-watch Avatar (AtlA and LoK)
7. Draw manga
8. Relax in the garden
9. Go out with friends
10. Work
11. Listen to music
12. Write a story
13. Make lots of pictures
14. Exercise at least one hour every day
15. Impress random guys
16. Watch a film (you have over 700 films, so there's always at least one film you are in the mood for to watch!)
17. Download new applications for your new phone
18. Download new music
19. Read a book
20. Buy new stuff you need for your next school year (try to procrastinate this as long as possible)

These are some things I can do, but I know for sure that I will think of more things to do later, and when I will, I shall add them to this list as well!

Anyway, after I made this list, I went downstairs and ate my dinner. I would like to talk about a few things. My diet is going great for now! I didn't eat any sweets for quite a long time now, and I feel like I don't even need to any more. So that is a good thing. I used to eat a whole bag of chips a day (usually extreme big bags, 300 gram if not more) so that wasn't too good for me. I quit doing that and now I only eat fruit. I drink those breakfast drinks in the morning, eat a bowl of yoghurt with fruit in it for lunch and I eat my normal diner in the evening. I also drink lots of water, and at least one tiny cup of tea a day. When I get hungry I either eat a piece of fruit, or I eat a tiny cup of custard. I'm excited about how I will look in two weeks, because even I myself can see some changes in how I look like already, after a month of dieting (I have been eating out three times though), so these upcoming weeks look promising. 

Also when I was downstairs I was looking in the appstore if there were any fun or interesting applications that I wanted to download, and then I saw an e-reader application. I downloaded it straight away, and I am happy I did it. The first thing I did was looking if they had the book "The Perks of being a Wall Flower". I wanted to borrow that book from the library to read it during my holidays, but when I saw they have this one, I started to read the book straight away. I don't know at which page I am at the moment, but I have read twelve percent of the book already. I really like this book. I actually wanted to safe it up until I'm going on holiday, but I just couldn't stop reading it as soon as I started. I wanted to read the first page of it, so I would know a bit about the book, but it turned out that I've read like four chapter already, I guess.

And after reading a part of this book, I realise how much I love to write. Luckily I will be able to blog when I'm in Italy or Crete, because I downloaded the Blogger application for my smartphone as well. And I'm going to use it a lot. I have mentioned this a few times already, but I just cannot hide how excited I am to enjoy blogging again, as much as I used to do on my older blog (if you're curious, I already put a link to my older blog in a previous post of mine). 

Okay, but for now, I have to put an end to this blog. I am going to watch television now, and somehow I feel great right now! Hopefully this feeling will last the rest of the evening!