Sweet Sixteen

Tomorrow, the 9th of June, I will celebrate my 16th birthday! I have been counting down for this day since two months ago. It is currently 23.51 and I wonder how many people are going to say happy birthday at exactly twelve o' clock. Some people posted tweets like "Staying up until midnight to say 'Happy birthday!' to a good friend", so I am sort of figuring out how many people will do this. It doesn't say a lot, I guess, but I think I will feel a bit better if someone did.

I haven't felt rather cheerful lately. The reason why I felt like this is partially unknown. The feeling started in the end of last weekend. And it became worse and worse with every minute that passed, even now. I kind of know what causes me feeling miserable. I am confused about the way I think about people. Friends, or at least I thought they were. Some people I consider as good friends don't even seem to think the same way about me. The first person just texted me happy birthday, and it is my mother :) It is 0.01 right now. If there's something wrong with them, I am always there to help them out. But it seems like they don't want my help. The next to friends just texted me :) Oh, and another one! I think I don't need to write this down any more. 

But what I wanted to say is, I always feel like people don't want my help. Maybe because my advice sucks, or maybe they aren't close enough to me to let me help them. I don't know who my real friends are. Of course I know some people are really best friends with me, but there are also a lot of people who I doubt they feel about me the way they say they do.

I think that it will be good for me to not have contact with certain people for a certain time. And since it is almost summer holiday, this won't be very hard to succeed.

Oh, well, I a starting to feel guilty about writing this post in the first place. I think that ten people have texted me by now to tell me happy birthday. I should cut this off now, before I'll end up deleting it.

Anyway, tomorrow is my birthday, it is actually today since it is 0.11 right now. I really look forward to see some family I haven't seen for a really long time. And later, around five o' clock, my best friends will be here to join the barbecue. And after that, my other friends will arrive to celebrate and drink beer and whine, and watch football and have nationalistic feelings because of that. Yeah! I hope, and think, that tomorrow will be great! I will enjoy this entire day and night, and there will be taken a lot of pictures too.

At last, as you probably have noticed, I really cannot concentrate on anything I am doing. This blogpost mostly consists of composed whining and my English sucks even more than it normally does. I'll probably post a new post tomorrow. Maybe it will be very long, and it will probably be not even worth to read. We'll see.