Spirituality

Because I seem to have no internet connection on my laptop at the moment, I'm writing this post in WordPad (I don't seem to have a legit version of Microsoft Word either). It is around half past eleven and I have had the urge to write this blog post for a few hours now and it is about missing certain people, certain moments, or memories from what happened in the past. In the Netherlands, we got a show on television about Derek Ogilvie. If you don't know about this man, you should either Google his name, or read the following.

Derek Ogilvie is a really special man and he what does means a lot to me. He is a 'medium'. Or in other words; he can speak to dead people. He can see people who passed away and he can also communicate with them. In his show, he uses his gift to help people who lost a loved one, or have a child who cannot speak (like a child with autism or the Down Syndrome) and help them communicate with each other. I know that there are two ways someone can think about this. You either believe in this, or you just do not believe it. It is just as simple as that. I am someone who thinks this is true. That there are people who have a gift to see 'ghosts' and that they actually can communicate with them.

There are more people with this gift, obviously, and I know someone from the Netherlands, and I went to her for a so called 'reading'. And I don't remember all of it, but I can remember some things that really 'touched' me. I still know how the first question she asked me was: "Do you eat enough?". She really got straight to the main point I've been struggling with for over two years. She asked about this, and later told me who told her this thing about me, and apparently, it was my grandmother (my mother's mother) who passed away almost ten years ago. At first I didn't know what to think. During this 45-minute session I just listened to everything she told me, without thinking too much about it. I had time enough later to do that. And that is what I did. It is really strange to know that there are people watching over me and caring for me in the spirit world. And it was rather weird to hear that my grandma has always been there. She's been there all the time and she knows about what I did, why I did it, and how I felt. And when I think about that, I feel kind of sad. She is not here anymore and that sucks!

This woman, called Bep (must be a weird name for you, not Hollanders), also told me that I have an older brother up there in this spirit world. Before me, I mum had a miscarriage. I have been asking the same questions about this baby for months. Would it have been a boy or a girl? How old would it have been by now? What would he or she be called? But unfortunately (or luckily, it depends on from what kind of view you are looking at this topic), the baby was too young to know if it would have been a boy or a girl. But Bep told me that it would have been born as a boy. It is really hard to describe how happy I was to hear about this. I have always knows that I had another sibling, except for my little sister, but I didn’t know anything about him (or her, I didn’t know).

Bep also told me that everyone has a ghost with themselves. There is always someone up there in the spirit world looking after you, caring for you, and they even make sure that certain things like car accidents don’t happen. You might not notice, but these people are there for you. And since my mother went to Bep once already, last year, and told me about this, I’ve been wondering who might be with me all the time. I wanted to ask Bep this question, but she told me already. It is my little brother. Before I didn’t even know about his existence, but now I know that he’s here, I actually miss him having around. I wonder what kind of person he would have been. And how would he have looked like? Would I look like him? I also wonder what would have happened between my parents and that whole situation is he would have been born. These are questions that will never be answered. But it is okay.

I love how, since I know about my brother, I sometimes even think that I ‘feel’ him being around. When I think about him, or write about him (like I’m doing right now) and sometimes when I feel desperate or incredibly sad.

It might be rather weird for you, if you don’t believe this kinds of things exist, to read this. But I know what I feel, and what I hear.

There is another question I wanted to ask Bep. I’ve been thinking about a good question to asked her and I came up with this one. Is it possible that members of my family, or even myself, are also born with this gift to talk to dead people? And she told me yes. My little sister also has a ‘sixth sense’ and I seem to have one as well. She also told me that my little sister doesn’t really want to open up for all this spirituality, and because of that, she won’t be able to develop her gift. But I’ve always been really interested in this. Bep told me, as I said, that I was born with this gift, but that it will open up to me when I will be older. I will notice if the time is right and when it is happening, she told me to call her and she would help me with it. So she gave me her phone number. Her personal phone number. She rarely gives her personal phone number to strangers, except for me.

As you can see, I’m really interested in this, and things that are similar to this! I have always been and I will always be!