OCD Recovery

Gosh, I cannot stand it any longer. I can't handle this any more. The OCD... really, it's getting out of hand. It started with some little annoying things, but it became worse and worse over time. I am not even able to write this blog without having problems with it. Approximately, I am being affected by these instructive thoughts for over three hours a day, if not more. Going to sleep is a hell, getting out of bed isn't that big of a deal yet, but I don't know how long it will take for the OCD to make a problem out of that too. I have to be aware of what I'm saying, doing and even thinking all day long and it's making me go crazy! I really need to stop this now! And I know what I am going to try!

Some people say it's good to talk about your problems, right? Well, I am going to do that. On my blog. Only on my blog. Why only on my blog, you might want to ask? I can explain that. First of all, I am not going to tell my parents. And why not? Because I do not want to. I do not want to know my parents about this ridiculous I am going through. My situation is a bit weird and I do not feel like explaining it, but believe me, it would be hard to tell it in this situation. I once told my parents something that happened, and really didn't think it helped me. It only made things awkward and I really do not want that to happen again. I suffered from another disorder a while ago, and I also managed to overcome that without telling my parents. And yes, that problem was rather serious, so don't tell me it wasn't real, because it was real. If I was strong enough to get over that disorder, then why wouldn't I be able to solve this problem on my own too? Right.

I also cannot discuss this with my friends, because people somehow don't seem to take me seriously, because I do not want to tell my parents and get professional help for it. Well, I made it pretty clear now why that is, and still they think I am exaggerating this, even though I am clearly not. And it also isn't really helping that a lot people use OCD as something cool. Example: Look! I made my room nice and neat! Oh my God, I am so OCD! Shall I tell you something funny? Having OCD is not funny and it is not to be joked about, unless you have the permission to do so.

I will go to the library soon and get the book Getting Control from Lee Baer and I hope it will help me. It might help, it might not. If it doesn't help, I know something else I can try. I will be going to a new school next year, if I did a good job and pass my exams. Then I will be doing the study Social Work, where it is important to know yourself, so we will be getting a subject where we will kind of have our own therapies or something, so maybe that will be able to help me get rid of this OCD too.

What I actually wanted to tell with this blog is that I will be posting more OCD related posts on this blog and I hope it will help me!